The twenty something Tonza (as she smiles gleefully):
The forty something Tonza (as I give myself the side eye):
WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I TAKE ALL OF THAT ON?
Anyone remember the saying, “be careful what you wish for”? It seems to be playing like a broken record in my head as I think about my twenty year old self, puffing my chest out, and proudly singing “…CAUSE I’M A WOMAN…”
What in the “Sam Hill” was I thinking when I signed up for all of that? And, ladies, do not try to act like I am on this island alone. You know that you remember proudly belting out the words “…CAUSE I’M A WOMAN…” yourself, a time or two.
Why do we over commit and stretch ourselves so thin? Is it our unwillingness as women to accept that, while we are pretty wonderful, we do not possess the “super powers” necessary to balance all of this? “Super powers” that will allow us to run nonstop ensuring that we are successful career women, cookie baking, attentive PTA moms, who also fully satisfy our men by making sure;
- Our home is spic and span,
- dinner is on the table, and
- we don’t pass out at night in the event that he decides he wants to make love.
And, as if that is not enough, we take on the added responsibility of being flawless in the process by promising to have :
- beautiful, flowing hair,
- Salon level toes and fingernails,
- Bodies that are fit and tone,
- Eyebrows that will never look like Luke Maye’s. Because, while it is perfectly acceptable for Luke Maye to rock his natural, God given eyebrows, if we dare to don our naturals, the whispers begin:“What is going on with her?”“Oh my goodness, she is letting herself go.”
And, apparently, we are now supposed to wax our bodies from the neck down anytime there is an inkling of a hair sprouting from its follicle. WTF? I don’t know about you, but all of this is exhausting to me.
Somehow the shift in mindset that took place as we fought for gender equality became what I would arguably say was a win for men. They have an abundance of women out there trying to prove that they are as close to super woman as you can get while, they, do what? Grace us with their company (rolling my eyes really hard right now)?
In case you did not know this already, here is a NEWSFLASH: This pressure that we have imposed on ourselves is not healthy. Honestly, sometimes this pressure keeps me up at night. Instead of patting myself on the back for all of the wonderful things that I did manage to accomplish on any given day, I lie in bed going through my mental checklist and fixate on ALL of the things that I have failed to accomplish. Lately I have been reminding myself that “perfect imperfection” is not limited to a romantic relationship in an effort to get some much needed rest.
I am perfectly imperfect, and, it’s okay. So, if you see me rocking a ponytail, or, my eyebrows seem a little bushy to you; instead of feeling sorry, or, worrying about me, applaud me for all of the things that I am doing. I promise, I am going to do the same for you!
Much love,
Tonza