You Know You Are Approaching Fifty When…

me and friends

The other day my friend asked me, “do you realize we graduated from high school thirty years ago?” I. ALMOST. PASSED. OUT! Thirty years??? Where has all of the time gone? Of course, we would love to be able to turn back the hands of time, and, tweak a few things, but, the more we talked, the more we realized we are finally embracing and appreciating life.

As I thought about that conversation I decided to compile this list with the help of the “Big Panty Crew”. So, here we go.


  1. You drink a martini after a good work out. CHEERS!
  2. You head out of the house in those cute heels because you are trying to impress your date. Before you get to the car, you turn around, run back in the house, and put those sneakers (or Birkenstocks in my case) on because you know damn well your feet are going to be hurting with those heels on.
  3. You need to take a nap just in case your date goes past 11pm (okay, well maybe 10 for me:-)).
  4. You wear those cute heels to the party because nothing else will work with the ensemble you put together, and, you sit down all night because your feet hurt too bad to dance.
  5. Or, you kick off those heels and hit the floor in your bare feet (well, that might be a sign that you are country, not almost 50 :-)).
  6. You look back in the courtroom, trying to locate your client, and everything is blurry. When you turn around your friend says, “girl, put your damn glasses on and stop trying to be cute!”
  7. Your kids sit in the corner giving you the side eye at the family gathering because you think you can dance. Or, they just give in and join you!
  8. You crawl out of bed in the morning and your body is like “hell to the naw, naw, naw”.
  9. You are the only one in the room with a wine glass and instead of being embarrassed you feel sorry for everyone drinking water and tea.
  10. You laugh at yourself!

Much love,

Me and the “Big Panty Crew”

me and my friends

Published by Tonza D. Ruffin

Perfectly Imperfect but VERY PROUD WOMAN, MOM, LAWYER, and AUTHOR, but most importantly...LIFE LOVER! I laugh loud, I work hard, I play hard, I am adventurous, I am curious, I am driven, I have moments of deep insecurity, I am loving, I am vulnerable, I am explosive (not one of my finer qualities), I dance around my house alone, I am an awful perfectionist which makes my insecurity worse, I sing out loud in my car without any concern for whose watching, I have trust issues, I do not live through my children, I no longer try to force my children into the mold that I created so that I could feel validated as a mother, I am a risk-taker, I am guarded in my personal life, I am kind, I am grateful. I am so excited about the rest of my life!

8 thoughts on “You Know You Are Approaching Fifty When…

  1. And LASTLY , you DON’T give a DAMN about what people say…… I sent you a text about your book I read…… EXCELLENT…… Good read for folks going thru their trial & tribulations……. Signed: going to be 56 in August……Closer to 60 than 50…… DAYUM……

    1. Where does the time go??? I can remember running around NY with Jackie in our Ursula uniforms dreaming about where I wanted to go to college and now I have 2 girls in college!

  2. Love it!!! What about when you use phrases like “oh snap” and your child say “what does that mean?”

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