Why I Broke Up With Social Media

social media

I have walked away from my social media accounts for the past couple of months. Honestly, my initial decision to walk away was not prompted by some strong desire to regroup and reflect. In fact, I felt forced to walk away.

So, I was angry and bitter for a couple of weeks after deactivating my Facebook and Instagram accounts. I began questioning my actual growth as a woman and all of the feminist ideals I claimed to embrace. How could I encourage women to “do you” when I had compromised, or so I thought, by walking away from something important to me? Once I moved past my anger and blame, I began to ponder my decision to walk away. What I realized was that I was using his concerns as an excuse for me to take a much-needed break. In a good place and able to delve a little deeper into my feelings, I concluded that I was addicted to social media, and I had become tired of its grip on me. With that realization and acceptance, I comfortably fell into my existence sans social media.

Please don’t tell him :-), but, honestly, my life sans social media has been much richer.

I now have time to focus on things I truly missed but never seemed to be able to find time to do when my focus was on becoming the next social media sensation. I have spent afternoons curled up in the bed, catching up on books that I have been meaning to read so that I could immerse myself in a world that someone else has created. I have found time to work on projects in my home so that my children and I can have a cozy atmosphere to rest and regroup from daily challenges. When I am out and about, I am able to take in and appreciate my surroundings much more since I am in the moment and not focused on capturing the moment. Because I am no longer looking for excuses to take a break and check my statuses, my focus is much better. But, I must say, the most significant gift of my break up with social media is that I am present and in the moment with the people near and dear to me. Quality time no longer includes sitting on the couch checking my “likes” and “comments” with the television on as everyone talks around me. I listen and am engaged even though they drive me completely “bonkers” sometimes.

Of course, I struggle with the thought of my work losing relevance now that I am not constantly pushing it because the reality is social media is very much a part of how our society communicates.

With that in mind, I have begun to try to figure out how to strike a balance. Until I find that balance, I find comfort in the fact that the gift of time also allows me to spend time writing, the thing that truly brings me joy. If I continue to write and people continue enjoying what I write, everything will be just fine.

Much Love,


Published by Tonza D. Ruffin

Perfectly Imperfect but VERY PROUD WOMAN, MOM, LAWYER, and AUTHOR, but most importantly...LIFE LOVER! I laugh loud, I work hard, I play hard, I am adventurous, I am curious, I am driven, I have moments of deep insecurity, I am loving, I am vulnerable, I am explosive (not one of my finer qualities), I dance around my house alone, I am an awful perfectionist which makes my insecurity worse, I sing out loud in my car without any concern for whose watching, I have trust issues, I do not live through my children, I no longer try to force my children into the mold that I created so that I could feel validated as a mother, I am a risk-taker, I am guarded in my personal life, I am kind, I am grateful. I am so excited about the rest of my life!

18 thoughts on “Why I Broke Up With Social Media

  1. Thank you Southern Mom. I have removed myself from social media also. It’s been over 6 months. I really really thank you should consider writing a book. You are a very good writer. I enjoy your every post. Thank you once again for another excellent and thought provoking topic.

    Sent from my iPhone


  2. I agree with Gregory that you should think about writing a book. You certainly have a set for expressing yourself. I also agree with your thoughts about social media. It is so easy to allow it, instead of life, to guide you in a direction. I think we’re all guilty of checking Facebook, messages or other sources probably more than we need too. We could always blame it on our children for paving the way to this life style. 😀

  3. Tonza, what a wise and smart decision you’ve made. Embrace your now. Your content is relevant, inspiring and REAL! While marketing is key, you don’t have to push. Like our favorite magazine we can’t wait to receive, your blog is that for many of us. Continue writing and we will continue reading.

  4. I’m glad to see southern mom Jd resurrected. Let’s keep the insightful positive thought provoking blogs coming so that your readers can continue to feed their hunger for all that you have to offer

  5. I do miss your posts, but I totally understand! I do hope that you will show us the completion of your home renovations! I enjoyed seeing your progress.

  6. It is sooo good to have you back online!!! I look forward to your Blogs!!! You are an amazing writer and I love the subjects that you choose to share. I too went off grid as far as social media is concerned. My choice was slightly different from yours but I did get the same sense of relief and reconnecting with myself. My original goal for my social media accounts were to connect with people on the same weight loss journey as I was at the time. BUT this quickly turned me into a gym junkie. This would not have been so bad but I began to body shame myself and no matter how healthy I was at that time, my weight and body insecurities grew more and more!! Turning to social media to guide me on how I should look and feel began to drive me into depression. So I disconnected and started to invest in my health for me and not for how social media comments said I should look. Yes T the addiction is real and being able to get away is a great relief! You have a platform with this blog that is so pure and honest and I I have ever been able to connect on this level with any past social media outlets. Thanks for doing what you do and sharing as much as you do!! Love you!!

  7. I realize that you ” had to do what you had to do,” but I have been missing you terribly! I have even tried to do a search to find you a few times. I am relieved to know, however, that your break up with social media, is working out for you.It means different things to different people, to say the least.

    I only have a FB account, and it is my social outlet for the most part. I read and study all the time, so this is how I break the monotony. Television, movies, etc, have never appealed to me. I only keep Directv going for the purpose of weather updates.

    Doors have begun to open for me, that I’m sure, will force me to reduce the time I spend on FB. Then again, I’ll be doing exactly what it is, that I was born to do- share the gospel through teaching! Hope to see you around some time! Godspeed,

  8. A few months ago, I realized that you were no longer posting on FB,😈 and wondered what happened. I enjoyed your Posts and your Blogs. However, I do understand your decisions. Please continue to write and share those interesting Blogs though; as they are true inspirations to me and others.💕 Be Blessed & Keep Reading and Writing.📚

Share Your Thoughts

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: