A person’s specific way of relating to others in relationships.Definition of Attachment Style
Before you start reading, if you are a parent, please know this post will make you reflect and possibly travel down a rabbit hole full of guilty feelings. Stop yourself.
There are numerous studies out there that focus on an individual’s attachment style. And, just as you guessed, how a child is reared plays a significant role in their attachment style. But, here is some good news for parents. The buck does not necessarily stop with parents. It seems that other people can significantly impact a person’s attachment style. The great news! Unhealthy attachment styles do not have to be permanent.
Now that I have shared this disclaimer here are the four attachment styles:
This is the gold standard of attachment styles; believe it or not, research has shown that 56% of adults have a secure attachment style.
In a nutshell, a securely attached person can
- trust and be trusted,
- love and accept love, and
- get close to others with relative ease.
Research has shown that 25% of adults are avoidant attachers.
If you are an avoidant attacher, you
- struggle with getting close to others in relationships
- are emotionally unavailable in relationships
- prefer independence
Research has shown that 19% of adults are anxious attachers.
If you are an anxious attacher, you
- tend to be very insecure about your relationships
- tend to always be hungry for validation
Fearful avoidant attachers are also known as disorganized attachers.
If you are a fearful avoidant attacher, you
- desperately crave affection AND want to avoid it at all costs.
- have a strong need to feel loved by others BUT are reluctant to develop a close romantic relationship.
Wondering what attachment style you have? I figured you would be. No worries. Click here to take a short quiz.
If you are anything like me, you want a second opinion. Click here if you want a second opinion.
Next week, I will share the parenting styles that lead to each attachment style. Stay tuned!
P.S. In case you missed last weeks post, will you be joining me in the Spending Freeze Challenge?