To Lipstick, or, Not

They are all tucked away in my makeup bag.  I had so much fun with them over the past several months.  In fact, the compliments I received made me more obsessed with finding different shades every time I entered a store.  My bright red lips had become a bold statement about my new found freedom.  Donning bold, red lips made me feel free and exciting.   So, when he eventually told me he didn’t really care for my bold, red lips I was stunned.  According to him, the red was too bold for the hue of my skin. And, he went on to further opine that I would be better served by a softer, more subtle color.

Me and My Red Lips

Of course, the Alpha part of my personality made me rebel against the idea of giving up my red lipstick. But, I found myself more and more conscious of crossing paths with him throughout our work day.  So, I gathered all of my beautiful shades of red and safely tucked them away in my makeup bag, never to be worn again.

Me and My Red Lips participating in our local Freedom March

The absence of my “liberation red lips” did not go unnoticed.  And, when I reluctantly shared with one of the members of my “big panty crew” that I retired the red lipstick because he didn’t like it, she almost fainted.  LOL! Pausing, as she pondered how brash she wanted to be, she finally asked, “why do you care if he likes it?  Furthermore, everyone else thinks it looks great on you.” (In case you have missed my previous blogs, my “big panty crew” is not short on opinions).  Knowing my girls, I was prepared for a reaction like this so I was comfortable as I responded that his thoughts on my appearance matter.  Certainly, I wasn’t pondering major reconstructive surgery in order to please him but I certainly did not believe my decision to retire the red lips meant, once again, my feminist card should be snatched.

Me and My “Big Panty” Crew 🙂

There should be limits to what you are, and are not, willing to do for the significant person in your life. But there is nothing wrong with making “small” changes to please your partner. Apparently he agrees. When I asked him to shorten his beard, without hesitation it was done.

What do you think readers? Where do you draw the line? Should my feminist card be snatched? Have you made any small changes to please your significant other?

Published by Tonza D. Ruffin

Perfectly Imperfect but VERY PROUD WOMAN, MOM, LAWYER, and AUTHOR, but most importantly...LIFE LOVER! I laugh loud, I work hard, I play hard, I am adventurous, I am curious, I am driven, I have moments of deep insecurity, I am loving, I am vulnerable, I am explosive (not one of my finer qualities), I dance around my house alone, I am an awful perfectionist which makes my insecurity worse, I sing out loud in my car without any concern for whose watching, I have trust issues, I do not live through my children, I no longer try to force my children into the mold that I created so that I could feel validated as a mother, I am a risk-taker, I am guarded in my personal life, I am kind, I am grateful. I am so excited about the rest of my life!

16 thoughts on “To Lipstick, or, Not

  1. With all due respect, the red is YOUR color. But I do respect your willingness to compromise, especially being the strong woman you are.

  2. I love the red on you T. If he doesn’t like the red lipstick, then he shouldn’t wear it…Lol. We as women often times yield to what men like or dislike. If he doesn’t like the color, that’s his issue…not yours.

    Maybe a compromise would be to limit wearing red when you are out together, but otherwise don’t push it to the bottom of the makeup bag by any means. 😊

  3. Idk what happened to my first post but to recap: his opinion of your lip color is just that…HIS opinion. You shouldn’t have to give up something you like on you just because he doesn’t like it. I say don’t create those expectations in a relationship that his opinions on your style control. Otherwise, it’s not your personal style anymore, it’s his. I’m not saying you can’t choose a different color that he likes ever but to stuff the reds in the bottom of the bag is not you being you. It’s you trying to conform to something he likes. He will love & accept you regardless, red lips & all. & btw, the red looks AWESOME on you!

  4. Actually whether or not I or anyone else likes the shade of your lipstick, the style of your hair any anything else you decide to accent yourself with is totally your choice. Someone who truly cares for you will except your decisions as you would theirs. If you were to ask them their thoughts and it’s not what you were hoping for,you and only you, can decide if it’s worth your wants and desires to be willing to change or not to change. I personally would not just arbitrarily make a negative comment about something that someone I care about choose to wear because that’s what makes them happy. On the other hand, if asked, I would carefully and smartly state my true thoughts if asked and only if asked. You are your own person and it’s ok to say, thank you, but you know I just like it on me.

  5. First let me say I love the red lipstick on you. I ALWAYS think it is a wonderful idea for a woman to wear things that make HER feel like she is attractive. Second, while I certainly think the opinion of a significant other is important, I also feel that compromise and acceptance of each other’s style is just as important. Stuffing your beloved lipstick in the bottom of your bag does not celebrate you. Wear red lipstick if you want, especially if it makes you happy.

  6. I believe being physically attractive to one another contributes to the chemistry that exists between two people. By no means am I suggesting that the red lipstick was a deal breaker for us but I think it is important for your mate to find you attractive. I agree that I should not have to retire the red lipstick permanently. Especially since I love it so!! 🙂 I am going to dig it out of my bag today and wear it on my next outing with my “big panty crew”!

  7. No comment since I have no significant other. BUT, I would definitely wear it when I wanted to. Well, maybe my attitude is why I don’t have a significant!

  8. I love the red and anything else that says make up and you look nice too. My hubby likes anything but the fake lashes and I love them. Try some more colors and see what he likes too. It takes 50/50 to make a 100. ;

  9. I don’t think it’s too much to ask. It sounds like you’re both willing to make sacrifices ie you asking him to shorten his beard. And relationships the only individuals you should be worried about pleasing is your significant other. If you’re not willing to make small changes for each other then you’re not ready for a lasting commitment.

Share Your Thoughts

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: