If someone asked me to describe myself in 3 words or less, I would say “submissive boss chick”. I know, I know…a bit of an oxymoron, huh? But wait, let me explain before you start judging and trying to snatch my superwoman cape. I am willing to bet there are other women out there that can identify with being a “submissive boss chick”. And, I bet there are some men out there loving a “submissive boss chick”.
What do I mean when I say “boss chick” you might ask? A “boss chick” is a woman who is not flawless, but is still fabulous. She is able to embrace her flaws and overcome obstacles while navigating this thing called life independently and, most importantly, happily. Simply put, a “boss chick” is living her best perfectly imperfect life.
As a “submissive boss chick”, I am comfortable and confident that I can handle my business, but…I am not interested in sharing this with the man that I am attracted to or dating. I am never going to walk into a situation providing a blueprint of what I bring to the table. In fact, I am much more apt to initially expose my “flaws”. My logic is simple…I don’t want to share my best with someone unwilling, or unable, to deal with my worst. More importantly, I no longer see dating as auditioning. Either you like me, or you don’t, and vice versa.
Sure, my inclination to openly discuss my “life snafus” can sometimes give the perception of weakness or insecurity. However, being keenly aware of what one brings to the table, despite being flawed, makes it easier to disregard those inaccurate perceptions. And, when necessary, because I am still a “boss chick”, I can quickly clear up any misperceptions one may have.
It is important to know that I did not always embrace my “submissive boss chick” description with pride. In fact, for most of my adult life, I felt my submissive nature was a character flaw that was to be blamed for my uncanny ability to attract the wrong type of man. Along with the decision to embrace it, came a better understanding of who I am as a woman and what I am looking for in love.
My desire is not to be with a man that forces me to beat my chest and remind him that “I am woman, hear me roar”. My ideal mate is one that appreciates my strengths while giving me a safe space to feel vulnerable. My ideal mate lets me safely find solace as I snuggle under him and block out the demands of the world. My ideal mate is one that I trust to lead and guide despite my independence. My ideal mate will accept the fact that I come to him with absolutely nothing to prove other than I am capable and willing to “pour into him” (thank you Assata for this wonderful description) in such a way that he knows, if nothing else, this woman is his “ride or die”…with a few questions of course. 🙂
Ladies, can you identify? Are you a “submissive boss chick”? Men, are you loving and appreciating a “submissive boss chick”?