Should We All Be Feminists?

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Chim-muh-MAHN-duh en-GOH-zee ah-DEECH-ee-(ay) The “ay” is soft) is a boss. Several years ago, after hearing her Ted Talk entitled We Should All Be Feminists, I immediately ordered the book and read it at least three times before moving on to my next reading endeavor.

We say to girls, ‘You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful but not too
successful, otherwise you will threaten the man.’

from we should all be feminists

For all of you Beyonce’ fans, the answer is yes. It is Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie you hear in Flawless.

In We Should All Be Feminists, Adichie intertwines her own experiences as a woman with her explanation for why she proudly identifies as a feminist. I am willing to bet that all women can relate when she says society has taught women to become masters at pretending they are something that they are not. I too was once a pretender. Aging has simply made me too lazy to play that game anymore.

We do a great disservice to boys in how we raise them. We stifle the humanity of boys. We define masculinity in a very narrow way. Masculinity is a hard, small cage, and we put boys inside this cage. We teach boys to be afraid of fear, of weakness, of vulnerability

from we should all be feminists

Here are 5 ideas that make me still return to We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie seven years later.

  • The more hard a man feels compelled to be the more fragile his ego and then girls are raised to cater to the fragile ego of men.
  • “The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing how we are”.
  • We should focus on one’s ability instead of gender.
  • We should focus on one’s interest instead of gender.
  • “A man who would be intimidated by me is exactly the kind of man I would have no interest in”.

So, what do you think? Should we all be feminists?

Much Love,


Published by Tonza D. Ruffin

Perfectly Imperfect but VERY PROUD WOMAN, MOM, LAWYER, and AUTHOR, but most importantly...LIFE LOVER! I laugh loud, I work hard, I play hard, I am adventurous, I am curious, I am driven, I have moments of deep insecurity, I am loving, I am vulnerable, I am explosive (not one of my finer qualities), I dance around my house alone, I am an awful perfectionist which makes my insecurity worse, I sing out loud in my car without any concern for whose watching, I have trust issues, I do not live through my children, I no longer try to force my children into the mold that I created so that I could feel validated as a mother, I am a risk-taker, I am guarded in my personal life, I am kind, I am grateful. I am so excited about the rest of my life!

3 thoughts on “Should We All Be Feminists?

  1. This post resonates deeply with me. We recently saw this with the too ambitious chatter relating to Senator Kamala Harris. Women can’t be too ambitious.

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