Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Chim-muh-MAHN-duh en-GOH-zee ah-DEECH-ee-(ay) The “ay” is soft) is a boss. Several years ago, after hearing her Ted Talk entitled We Should All Be Feminists, I immediately ordered the book and read it at least three times before moving on to my next reading endeavor.
We say to girls, ‘You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful but not too
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successful, otherwise you will threaten the man.’
For all of you Beyonce’ fans, the answer is yes. It is Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie you hear in Flawless.
In We Should All Be Feminists, Adichie intertwines her own experiences as a woman with her explanation for why she proudly identifies as a feminist. I am willing to bet that all women can relate when she says society has taught women to become masters at pretending they are something that they are not. I too was once a pretender. Aging has simply made me too lazy to play that game anymore.
We do a great disservice to boys in how we raise them. We stifle the humanity of boys. We define masculinity in a very narrow way. Masculinity is a hard, small cage, and we put boys inside this cage. We teach boys to be afraid of fear, of weakness, of vulnerability
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Here are 5 ideas that make me still return to We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie seven years later.
- The more hard a man feels compelled to be the more fragile his ego and then girls are raised to cater to the fragile ego of men.
- “The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing how we are”.
- We should focus on one’s ability instead of gender.
- We should focus on one’s interest instead of gender.
- “A man who would be intimidated by me is exactly the kind of man I would have no interest in”.
So, what do you think? Should we all be feminists?
Much Love,
Tonza
This is one of my favorite black feminists and my favorite artist. She is absolutely right. We should all be feminist.
This post resonates deeply with me. We recently saw this with the too ambitious chatter relating to Senator Kamala Harris. Women can’t be too ambitious.
Right!