Self Reflection in Spain

In addition to being fascinated by exploring new places, I enjoy travel because it gives me time for self-reflection. It is so easy when you are in the midst of your day to day routine to lose sight of the basic things that are necessary for a healthy existence. My self-reflection on this trip began in Barcelona but has kicked into high gear since being in Valencia. The sense of family and community and the stress free lifestyle that exists in Spain came at a time when I have begun to question so many things about my life back home. I believe being here at this moment was meant to reinforce some pretty big decisions I have made. Ironically, I planned this trip well before these decisions were made.

Before I share my big decisions, I will share one of my biggest aha moments since being in Spain. I share this because I hope wherever you are reading this, you will stop and take a moment to self-reflect about whether or not you are loving your body properly.


I am not being kind to my body. As an entrepreneur my health is the single most important thing to me. Without good health I cannot function which means I cannot generate income and we all know that some level of income is necessary for survival.

Around 2016 I realized I wasn’t very healthy and I needed to shed a few pounds. As a result, I switched to a plant based lifestyle and I began “jalking” on a daily basis. I felt wonderful! As time passed and I became busier with my practice, parenting, writing, blogging, etc. I carved out the extra time I felt I needed to get everything done by not exercising, consuming a lot of coffee, kind bars, pre-made meals, junk! I sacrificed sleep and moments of being present. Oftentimes, I felt like I was simply existing. My body was constantly letting me know that it was not very happy. Instead of taking time to recalibrate and reset, I found myself making deals with God. Just let me finish this task and I promise I will take better care of myself. Such a mindset can be extremely harmful, and, quite frankly, deadly.

Spain has been my opportunity to recalibrate and reset. Now, I am not sure why in the world I would come to Spain, a coffee lover’s heaven, and decide to give up coffee, but I did! I will admit my life without coffee has been like a bad breakup. I yearn for it daily and question my decision to completely walk away. But so far, so good! I am 4 days coffee clean! I guess the true test will come when I am reunited with my brand new coffee maker that is sitting in my kitchen just waiting for me to return. I will let you know how that goes! 🙂

Green Tea

In addition to giving up coffee, I have been consuming lots of water and walking every day. I have committed to consuming fresh fruits and vegetables in the place of pre-packaged plant based foods. And, I have been spending time practicing my breathing techniques and being present. So far, so good! My body seems to be pleased with me. My goal is to continue to show self-love when I return to the “rat race” called my life.


I guess in a sense before I headed to Spain I knew that something had to give in my life. But this trip helped to reinforce my decision. Sooooooooooo…After spending the past twenty years in Bertie Co. I have decided to close my law office and relocate to Chapel Hill, North Carolina! Am I scared? HELL YEAH! But, the thought of having an opportunity to begin a new journey and live in my purpose is SO EXCITING to me!

Of course I will be bringing you on this journey with me! In the meantime, tell me, are you walking in your purpose and living your best life? What leaps of faith have you taken in your life? Do you have any regrets? Please share!

Much Love,


Published by Tonza D. Ruffin

Perfectly Imperfect but VERY PROUD WOMAN, MOM, LAWYER, and AUTHOR, but most importantly...LIFE LOVER! I laugh loud, I work hard, I play hard, I am adventurous, I am curious, I am driven, I have moments of deep insecurity, I am loving, I am vulnerable, I am explosive (not one of my finer qualities), I dance around my house alone, I am an awful perfectionist which makes my insecurity worse, I sing out loud in my car without any concern for whose watching, I have trust issues, I do not live through my children, I no longer try to force my children into the mold that I created so that I could feel validated as a mother, I am a risk-taker, I am guarded in my personal life, I am kind, I am grateful. I am so excited about the rest of my life!

6 thoughts on “Self Reflection in Spain

  1. Sometimes in life you need to recharge! God bless you and best of wishes to you! You are an amazing person.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

      1. Yes, I agree, we all need a recharge some times. Glad to see you’re doing something for YOURELF. But Bertie County is really going to miss you. Ya, me included…

      2. Awww. Thank you Steve! You have been so incredibly supportive as I have begun my new journey with an eye towards living my truth. Words cannot express how much I appreciate you!💕💕💕

    1. Thank you so much for being a supporter! I plan to limit my practice of law to capital murder cases as I focus on my writing, podcast, and other business ventures.

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