Save the Confederate Statutes


Keep your “ass” home is the text I received from my mother when I told her I was headed to a save the confederate statute “rally” in Beaufort, North Carolina. My boyfriend, knowing I was determined to go, simply said “be safe” as I headed out the door.

All of the confederate statute media coverage  had me curious so I could not give up this opportunity to see, first- hand,  what all the hoopla was about.  I will confess, my curiosity and excitement quickly transitioned to fear as I got closer and saw confederate flags everywhere. Still in the safety of my vehicle, I paused for a minute, gathered my thoughts, and thought, maybe I should have actually “kept my ass home”. Being the stubborn person that I am, I refused to allow my fear to stop me from having this experience. However, also having a tinge of sensibility, I decided not to park amongst the confederate supporters. Instead, I wheeled the truck around and parked on one of the quiet, Beaufort, neighborhood streets and walked two blocks to the courthouse.


As I walked up to the area where the “rally” was beginning, I became afraid once again but I still refused to give into my fear. Was I looking for trouble? What would I do if someone openly questioned my presence? What would I do if someone called me the “n” word? Not knowing the answers to those questions, and, quickly realizing I was the ONLY African-American person present, I decided to stand across the street and observe.

Not appearing to be very organized, most of the supporters simply stood around after signing a petition to save the statute and posed for pics, proudly waving their confederate flags in front of the statute.  As I was getting bored with watching what I soon realized was more of a “gathering”, a man stepped up and began to speak.

Unfortunately my safe place, across the street, meant I could not hear him. So, I walked across the street, ignoring the stares at the lone “black woman” present for the “gathering”, and stood amongst the supporters so that I could hear, waiting for the hate to flow.  Noone called me the “n” word, and, while they looked at me, noone, other than a local reporter, dared to ask me why I was there.

Much to my surprise there were no hate filled speeches given. Instead each person that talked at this “gathering” talked about historical preservation, respecting one another’s views, unity, and love.


When one young man stepped up with his thick beard, confederate t-shirt, and confederate flag in hand, I knew for sure he was going to be spewing hate throughout his speech. Instead, he spoke out against racism and hate. After he spoke, I honestly felt guilty because I knew that I was guilty of stereotyping. I assumed that his speech would be filled with hate simply because of the way he looked.

Following the bearded, confederate flag toter, another man came forward and said we had to learn to “love one another”. Arrogantly, I began to wonder did my black presence cause a shift in the tone of the speeches we were hearing. Quickly I decided that it was absolutely absurd for me to believe that I could cause such a dramatic shift. This group of confederate flag toting, confederate soldier supporting, white people, were not filled with the rage and hate that I had witnessed on television. They simply believed in their cause. Who am I to knock them or judge them for that? Many of the causes that are near and dear to me are offensive to others but it never stops me from doing, and standing up for, what I believe is right.

Prior to this experience I have felt oddly disconnected as I heard story after story about confederate statute protests.  Why? Because I honestly don’t care, one way or the other, about these confederate statutes. Does it make me less of a black woman that my blood doesn’t boil when I walk past one? Or, even less of a black woman when I don’t even notice these statutes?

As I told the reporter that asked me “what brings you out today”?  I was curious about why people were so interested in these statutes. There are so many issues that are having devastating effects on our society. I feel our energy would be better spent elsewhere.

As a mother of three African-American girls, I spend my energy trying to make sure they are smart, beautiful, conscientious contributors to society. As a lawyer, I spend my energy fighting against the injustices that are still rampant in the legal community. As a citizen, I am very much concerned with the extreme level of poverty in my community because I know that poverty prevents so many talented people from realizing their full potential. I simply do not have time to fight against objects such as statutes.

Readers: What is your position on confederate statutes? Do you think I was naïve to think that the protestors present were not hate-filled?

Published by Tonza D. Ruffin

Perfectly Imperfect but VERY PROUD WOMAN, MOM, LAWYER, and AUTHOR, but most importantly...LIFE LOVER! I laugh loud, I work hard, I play hard, I am adventurous, I am curious, I am driven, I have moments of deep insecurity, I am loving, I am vulnerable, I am explosive (not one of my finer qualities), I dance around my house alone, I am an awful perfectionist which makes my insecurity worse, I sing out loud in my car without any concern for whose watching, I have trust issues, I do not live through my children, I no longer try to force my children into the mold that I created so that I could feel validated as a mother, I am a risk-taker, I am guarded in my personal life, I am kind, I am grateful. I am so excited about the rest of my life!

7 thoughts on “Save the Confederate Statutes

  1. First off, I commend you for being strong willed and going there yourself and checking it out. I agree there is enough serious issues in this country that we need to focus on, and these statues aren’t one of them. They are part of our country’s history. Are we, and did we do everything right to get where we are now? No of course not. We’re all human. But, in my opinion, we’re the greatest country on his earth, and I’m proud of it. But again, the statues and other items across this great nation are there to remind us how we got where we are today. We need to learn from all these items not remove them. The hatred and bigotry that exists in our country as well as across the world is not going to disappear by removing artifacts. I’m my opinion, it’s going to take education and as parents setting the example.

  2. Great perspective…honest & purely objective. Though many of us don’t agree w/some who have reverence for these statutes, if you know who you are & where you stand it’s ok to acknowledge other people’s rights to their beliefs. I applaud your objectivity & introspection that most of us don’t have the courage to engage in. Well done again, my Sister!

  3. I’m proud of your courage. As always. Be careful. But always be courageous. Bc to be courageous requires us to step outside our comfort box. And it is only when we step outside our comfort box are we able to receive and appreciate others viewpoints and beliefs

  4. thanks for sharing, I actually am surprised that you went, only because sometimes that fear you had can override any other feelings. but you fought thru it. And I commend that

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