Pull Your Da%# Pants Up… Please!!

A couple of weeks ago I sat in the car and just stared at a young man that was helping another young man clean his car out. He caught my attention because he looked so ridiculous struggling to keep his pants up as he moved from the front to the back of the car. I was so fascinated with this ridiculous scene that I snapped a few pictures and asked my boyfriend, “what the hell is up with that?” “Do they really think that sh*% is cute?” (Yes, sometimes this southern mom resorts to profanity). Needless to say, my boyfriend who is clean cut, and takes a lot of pride in his appearance, had no answers for me. So, we both just sat there, flabbergasted, shaking our heads in dismay.


When I talked to my mother about this she told me, that she read that this trend began in prison. According to what she read, prisoners were not allowed to have belts for security and safety reasons so many times they had difficulty keeping their pants up on their waist. Okay. That makes sense. So, are these young men trying to emulate prison culture? If so, why? I’ve been to prisons to visit young men and it doesn’t seem like a place you should aspire to be. Since I refuse to believe that our young men are trying to emulate prison culture, I have to wonder do they even know that it is a possibility that this trend began in prison? And, if they knew this, would it make a difference?

When I asked my 26 year old daughter about this, she told me that they do this because they are trying to send a signal that they are bisexual. Really????? Okay…well, I guess that makes sense (as I give her the side eye). But, since people know this is the message that is being sent, they are obviously not trying to be “undercover”. Why not just be open about your sexuality?

I am not really sure why this has become such a popular trend. Sadly enough, there is a SLIGHT possibility that one of my daughter’s might think about bringing one of these saggy pants wearing guys home to meet mom. If, for some crazy reason, this happens, I am going to first make sure my daughter has not come down with some major illness. Once I am confident that she is okay, I am going to let the young man know, in my southern motherly way, that he looks dumb as hell.

What is the point? Are you trying to look silly as you walk, while trying to hold your pants up? Are you trying to let the world know that you are in no hurry to get anywhere as you walk slowly trying to hold your pants up? Did you realize you look like a penguin as you take those short baby steps in an effort to keep your pants above your knees? Do you think that is attractive? More importantly, do my girls, and girls in their age group, think that is attractive? Are you purposely trying to make getting from one place to the next difficult because you are so concerned that your way too big pants might fall at any second? Are you purposely trying to make tasks more difficult because you are more focused on keeping your pants above your knees than completing the task at hand?

I watched this young man struggle to help clean this car out while trying to hold his pants up

What is really going on here? I seriously would like to understand. I mean are you seriously willing to eliminate the possibility of being taken serious for employment all in the name of fashion? And, if I am being naive to think that you have to be concerned about employment, what exactly are you doing with your life as your pants hang off your butt?

Honestly, why don’t you just let your way too big pants fall down around your knees? Or better yet, just don’t bother to put pants on. I mean, what is the difference between that and the crazy way you wear them now?

As my kids would say, IJS. (translation = I’m Just Saying)

So, young men, if you come to my house, please remember to respect me and spare me the view of your “drawers”, as the old folks say.

Much Love,


Published by Tonza D. Ruffin

Perfectly Imperfect but VERY PROUD WOMAN, MOM, LAWYER, and AUTHOR, but most importantly...LIFE LOVER! I laugh loud, I work hard, I play hard, I am adventurous, I am curious, I am driven, I have moments of deep insecurity, I am loving, I am vulnerable, I am explosive (not one of my finer qualities), I dance around my house alone, I am an awful perfectionist which makes my insecurity worse, I sing out loud in my car without any concern for whose watching, I have trust issues, I do not live through my children, I no longer try to force my children into the mold that I created so that I could feel validated as a mother, I am a risk-taker, I am guarded in my personal life, I am kind, I am grateful. I am so excited about the rest of my life!

7 thoughts on “Pull Your Da%# Pants Up… Please!!

  1. This isn’t something new. Men have been “sagging” since I was a kid. In fact, I did it. I wasn’t sending any signal, it was just a style. I also don’t believe today’s kids are, “sending a signal.” It’s just a style. I really bad one.

    That being said, they’ve gone too far. When we did it, it was a very low sag…. you couldn’t see our underpants. Just a slight sag in your jeans. These kids are basically wearing their skinny jeans below their hips. It looks terrible. No one wants to see your boxers.

    I respect expression, even when I don’t understand it. However, expression that looks [that] bad can be a bit concerning. I will not allow any young man to come into my home dressed like that. Pull your pants up son. You don’t have to be clean cut or preppy, but you shouldn’t look like a bum.

    Have more respect for yourself, and who you represent.

  2. They also say it’s a way to let men in prison know you they are open for a booty call 😒. It pisses me off and I let Uri and Cam know I will embarrass them in the street if I catch them doing it. So Cam tried it and let’s just say he learned that day. 😌

  3. Amen!!! Idk what they are thinking. Like Sierra I’ve been told that wearing the pants low like that in prison started out as a sign that a man was available in prison & looking for sexual partner. Why it transcended to a fashion trend I have NO idea!!!

  4. I sometimes ask myself can it get any worse for us as a people. No one wants to see your ass. Nor your drawers. But we get offended when people say something to us. It’s troubling that we don’t say anything and we continue to nurture a lost generation. A generation not willing to work. Nor have any self pride in their appearance

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