It’s Another Relationship Question For You All

Hi all! I so enjoyed the feedback I got last week I decided to pose another relationship question this week.

I am big on transparency. If I am honest and upfront in the beginning, that eliminates the possibility of an issue down the road. With that being said, I am becoming more selective about what I share at the beginning of a relationship. As Brene’ Brown said (and I am paraphrasing big time!), everyone is not entitled to that information.

Nevertheless, I am curious what you all thing about this topic.

Assume for purposes of this question that you have been dating consistently for 6 months and things seem to be pretty serious.

HOW MUCH OF YOUR PAST SHOULD YOU SHARE WITH YOUR PARTNER?

Please make sure you share your thoughts in the comments.

Much Love,

Tonza

Author: Tonza D. Ruffin

Perfectly Imperfect but VERY PROUD WOMAN, MOM, LAWYER, and AUTHOR, but most importantly...LIFE LOVER! I laugh loud, I work hard, I play hard, I am adventurous, I am curious, I am driven, I have moments of deep insecurity, I am loving, I am vulnerable, I am explosive (not one of my finer qualities), I dance around my house alone, I am an awful perfectionist which makes my insecurity worse, I sing out loud in my car without any concern for whose watching, I have trust issues, I do not live through my children, I no longer try to force my children into the mold that I created so that I could feel validated as a mother, I am a risk-taker, I am guarded in my personal life, I am kind, I am grateful. I am so excited about the rest of my life!

4 thoughts

  1. Yes, one should share enough background and past experiences for the other person to get an understanding of what type of person you are.

  2. Hi Tonza luv. It’s been a long time since we have spoken, but I have been following you and am so proud of you and All of this wonderful content you make available. I had to take a moment and breath and reflect on your question. My answer was initially, “Yes, we should share our past,” but then I read the question again and realized it asked, “how much?” This is what had me scratching my head. How much, (scratch,) how much?” I think we should share anything that is relevant to who are are as a person, vise versa, but i think when contemplating how much information we are sharing, it should be clear on, “this is where/who i was, this is who I am now…with you in this space, … & this is the plan for where i’m going. What i mean is that if your think you have a partner, you shouldn’t feel the burden o having to unload your entire past on them initially, it should be a back and forth process between the two of you that is comfortable yet transparent without being rushed.

    1. I love this response! Especially… it should be clear on, “this is where/who i was, this is who I am now…with you in this space, … & this is the plan for where i’m going.
      Thank you for reading and thank you for sharing your thoughts! 💕💕💕

      1. You’re welcome. Everyone is so busy, but i love when we sisters / (and brothers… ok) … share in what you are doing. I will try to be more present when I can. Wonderful stuff. God Bless you in all your efforts for all of us out here connecting with real helpful purpose.

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