Hi everyone! It has been such a busy time for me. I am really excited about everything going on in my life right now. Today I want to share two exciting things with you.

FIRST THING: I have launched a podcast! Vibin’ With Tonza is a podcast about LIFE, LOVE & EMPOWERMENT! I am greatly enjoying the opportunity to sit down and vibe with some really cool people. If you have enjoyed reading my blog, you should definitely take a moment to tune in and subscribe to Vibin’ With Tonza. You will not be disappointed!

SECOND THING: I am super excited to announce that I am putting the finishing touches on my latest book, Vibin’ With Tonza. Yessss, the title is the same as my podcast title. 🙂 I will announce the release date in the near future. In the meantime, here is an excerpt from the book. Hope you enjoy!

I lived in Fear.

Fear is a powerful force. Fear coupled with a society that, consciously or unconsciously, imposes its standards on you, without regard for your individuality, can be debilitating to the psyche. 

For so many years I suppressed my dreams and desires because I feared rejection and failure. This fear made me work hard to live the way I thought the world wanted me to live. I excelled academically, I worked hard, I tried to make everyone around me comfortable. Periodically I would rebel against societal standards by “acting out”. While these acts of rebellion gave me temporary relief from the sense of suffocation I felt, they also gave me a false sense that I was living my life fearlessly. The reality was I was moving further and further away from figuring out who I was and what made me happy. I was being self-destructive. 

Unfortunately, I am not alone. There are so many women and girls that need a safe space to just be able to figure themselves out. I often wonder what my life would look like today if I had been given that safe space. As a result of my thoughts and experiences, I want to ensure that I am doing my part to create a safe space for women and girls to figure it out. I also want to encourage others to create safe spaces. The harmful effects of our failure to do so is apparent. Why do women feel like they must be silent about abuse? Why do women feel like female friendships are too complicated? Why do women feel alone? Why do women feel they have to work so hard to prove their value? Why are women so unsure of themselves?

I hope my book Vibin’ With Tonza is a step in the right direction. If I am able to convince one woman to be okay with her feelings of vulnerability, I consider that a success. If I am able to convince one woman to choose kindness in a world where cruelty comes so easy, I consider that a success. If I am able to convince one woman that her feelings of insecurity are normal, and, the failure to acknowledge insecurity is where the harm comes in at, I consider that a success. If I am able to show one woman that she is not alone in her quest for a safe space, I consider that a success. 

Stay tuned for more…

I am super thankful to all of you! Your consistent and continued support mean so much to me.

Much Love,


Vibin’ with Tonza can be found on ITunes Podcast, Apple Podcast, Spotify, Stitcher, and Google Podcast. You can also click on the links in this post and you will be redirected to the podcast website.

Published by Tonza D. Ruffin

Perfectly Imperfect but VERY PROUD WOMAN, MOM, LAWYER, and AUTHOR, but most importantly...LIFE LOVER! I laugh loud, I work hard, I play hard, I am adventurous, I am curious, I am driven, I have moments of deep insecurity, I am loving, I am vulnerable, I am explosive (not one of my finer qualities), I dance around my house alone, I am an awful perfectionist which makes my insecurity worse, I sing out loud in my car without any concern for whose watching, I have trust issues, I do not live through my children, I no longer try to force my children into the mold that I created so that I could feel validated as a mother, I am a risk-taker, I am guarded in my personal life, I am kind, I am grateful. I am so excited about the rest of my life!


  1. Tonza,
    You are an amazing woman, I find you to be so interesting and exciting. I applaud all that you do and I will definitely support you in any way that I can. We need more positive, smart, classy, professional, successful, beautiful (in and out) and adventurous black women like you to be a role to our young black sisters on the rise. Someone to let them know that it takes hard and aspirations to live a better life but they can do it. Thank you for sharing your story with us all!!!

  2. Thank you as always for your thought provoking and informative work! You are on the road to greatness!❤️

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