Unable to stay awake a second longer, I hobbled into my bedroom, crawled under the cover, and drifted into a world that did not include my demanding children. Prior to this weekend, I was able to closely monitor my boyfriend’s interactions with my children. No, not because my boyfriend is creepy and needs to be watched. But, because I was scared for him! I am a mom that is very honest about her kids. My kids prey on helpless people. Well, to be fair, only one of my children gives me cause to be concerned these days. Being crowned the “Queen of Terror” early on, she has made her sister’s comfortable with leaving all of the dirty work to her. So, I seldomly leave her alone with people I am trying to make a good impression on.
Unfortunately, over the weekend I found myself having to succumb to the drowsiness caused by my pain meds and trust that my boyfriend would survive her short reign of terror while I napped. After a wonderful slumber, I awoke, looked at my phone, and immediately went into panic mode. I had been asleep for almost two hours! Two hours was more than enough time for the “Queen of Terror” to make my boyfriend question his sanity when he vowed to love and accept me, and the other human beings, that I called my own!
Not hearing any voices in the living room, I was confident that my boyfriend had run for the hills without even telling me goodbye. What was I thinking? Clearly the meds had taken over my ability to think rationally. Under normal circumstances I would have never allowed her to spend this much time alone with him. Climbing out of bed, I realized that I also did not hear my dogs jumping around, bumping into everything, like they usually do. What had my “Queen of Terror” done? Hobbling as fast as I could, I made my way to the living room only to see my boyfriend seated in the chair, staring at the television, while my little one sat there, looking as angelic as ever. Breathing a sigh of relief that he was still there, I put a big smile on my face and made my way to the couch. As he turned to look at me, with a big smile still glued on his face, I knew that my nap had led to the turning point in our relationship. Trying to read his mind, I peered into his eyes as I eased onto the sofa, waiting for him to speak. With that big smile still on his face, he asked if I had a good nap, and then whispered under his breath, “your daughter is a terror!” As he tried to subtly tell me about the nightmare he had just experienced, my daughter, suddenly glued to her chair, watched us closely.
Between text messages and whispers I learned that my daughter had turned the living room into her jungle gym and sailed through the air from the couch to the chair until she became bored, daring him to try to stop her. Once she became bored with the indoor jungle gym she turned her attention to our dogs. Our French Bull Dog had been able to escape the nightmare by darting to my teenager’s room because he knew that was a safe zone. (Yes, my little terror had been barred from her sister’s room). Our Great Dane was just passed out on the floor, as though he had given up on any possibility of survival. Horrified to ask what else had taken place during my nap, I sat quietly, glaring at my daughter, daring her to utter a word.
When he left to shower and change I was certain that my boyfriend was gone forever. And, honestly I could only blame myself. I had “unleashed the dragon” on him way too soon!
To my surprise, after a brief reprieve, he sent me a text to let me know that he was on his way back! With a big smile on my face, I settled back on my bed and whispered to myself, “Yes, I guess he is a KEEPER!”
Ladies if you ever want to know how a man truly feels about you, give him a little uninterrupted time with your children. If you never see him again chances are he wasn’t that into you! But, if he shows back up, still smiling, he, too, is a keeper!
I would love to hear some of your favorite single parent dating stories:-)