Are You The Best Version Of Yourself?

Tonza Ruffin

Like everyone else, I get sucked into the videos and the blog posts that give you the laundry list of reasons why he/she “is not the one”. I have considered drafting a list of red flags a time or two, and maybe in the past, I have alluded to some characteristics that should cause one to pause when it comes to matters of the heart. But, the reality is, these lists, descriptions, and red flags are not necessary. All you have to do is look within and ask yourself, “am I the best version of myself when I am with him/her” and therein lies your answer.

Richie Norton quote

I, am a true believer of energy and manifesting destiny. I have also been described as an empath which means, among other things, that I easily absorb the energy around me. For years, before I knew what an empath was, I was of the mindset that I could emit enough positive energy to repel any negative energy that I encountered. That faulty mindset led to wasted time during my journey here on earth. When I realized how much valuable time was being wasted, I began to focus more on protecting my energy. Of course I am human, so I have not perfected the art of protecting my energy. But, I consistently try to do a periodic check in so that I can make adjustments as needed.


When I need to reel my emotions in and center myself, here are some questions I ask myself. The answers to these questions always help me get back to where I am meant to be, a place where love and positivity flow.

  1. Do I continue to feel hopeful in this person’s presence
  2. Am I still excited about life, and all of the possibilities
  3. Do I second guess myself more in this person’s presence
  4. Do I act in ways that make me feel unhappy with myself

I promise if you answer these questions honestly, you will gain clarity.



Much Love,


Published by Tonza D. Ruffin

Perfectly Imperfect but VERY PROUD WOMAN, MOM, LAWYER, and AUTHOR, but most importantly...LIFE LOVER! I laugh loud, I work hard, I play hard, I am adventurous, I am curious, I am driven, I have moments of deep insecurity, I am loving, I am vulnerable, I am explosive (not one of my finer qualities), I dance around my house alone, I am an awful perfectionist which makes my insecurity worse, I sing out loud in my car without any concern for whose watching, I have trust issues, I do not live through my children, I no longer try to force my children into the mold that I created so that I could feel validated as a mother, I am a risk-taker, I am guarded in my personal life, I am kind, I am grateful. I am so excited about the rest of my life!

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