Allowing the music to take me to a place where I can be set free
No longer holding on to the thoughts that consumed me
The feelings of wanting to run away from reality
Reality has a way of hitting hard and grabbing you like a bear going in for the kill
The grip of emotions invading that space in your chest
Attempting to hold things in with no regard to the feelings that are trying to break free
The breakthrough of releasing the pint of sobs that have taken residence in your body
Mind, body, emotions, uncertainty
Music on repeat, playing as loud as I can get it, attempting to drown out the sound
The sound of her SCREAMING…………………………
Dancing to the beat of the pain from within your being
Moving in no particular motion, swaying from left to right
The circles formed around the body from head to toe
Listening carefully to the beat at first, closed eyes, allowing oneself to be captured
Deep breaths taken in, thoughts are flowing towards the river of cool blue water
The water flowing, listening to the crashing waves hitting against rocks
The breeze upon my face, and finally I am able to release all the travail that has been stored up for years
The river flowing in so many directions and as I stand still it, face wet, heart racing, chills take over my body
Shaking uncontrollably, my hands become numb and cold
There are no feelings left within my body, cold, still, stoic
I never thought in a million years this woman could hold so many tears in her soul
My soul aches, aches to be free
Free from self, free from feeling incomplete, free from feeling like I’m not enough
Free from feeling boxed in with no destination in sight
Free from feeling I’ve let her down ……………………………
FREE FROM FEELING SELF DISAPPOINTMENT …………………….
4/20/2020
Monica, dear cousin, THANK YOU for baring your soul through the lyrics of your poem! I felt your STRENGTH in every stanza. You are AMAZING!
Amen…..